- Pellissippi Perspectives: Surviving School with Schizophrenia
By Penelope, Special to the Journal
Introduction by Draven Copeland, Managing Editor
Kicking off Imaginary Gardens’ new Pellissippi Perspectives series, we present Penelope’s piece on her experience with diagnosed schizophrenia/paranoia on campus. In her story, she details how she navigates school and personal life with these added barriers, still working to succeed in her classes and social life.
We hope to continue this series with more submissions from our readers; varied perspectives are what make Pellissippi State Community College such a diverse and interesting place to be, and we’d like to hear from you! How do you take on the challenges of college while balancing your personal life? What strategies work the best for you when you’re stressed or overwhelmed? How have you found your community on campus, and how might others do the same?
All of these questions and more we give to you, with the hope that we can give voices to your personal experiences and lifestyles. After all, that has always been the goal of Imaginary Gardens.
If you are interested in sharing your own Pellissippi Perspectives, submit your article through our link here!
When I was 18 years old, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and paranoia; although for many years, both my doctors and parents had already believed that I had schizophrenia. I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals for years, as it had begun to not only affect my personal life, but also my school life as well. I had to take almost five years off from school in order to take care of myself.
My experience with schizophrenia is vastly different from most people’s experiences. I have both auditory and visual hallucinations. With auditory hallucinations, I tend to hear voices, which, most of the time, are very annoying. Sometimes these voices just sound like someone I know calling out my name or, in the worst part of my schizophrenia journey, they were commanding me to do some horrible things. Now, the worst part of my schizophrenia is the visual hallucinations. My three main visual hallucinations are Tim Curry’s Pennywise, a little girl carrying a red balloon, and a small dog that looks like Toto from the 1939 version of The Wizard of Oz.
Out of the many times that I was hospitalized, this last visit was one that changed my life for the better. I learned three major coping strategies for not only dealing with my hallucinations, but also how to deal with daily stressors. The three strategies are breathing, focusing on the here and now, and trusting your support system. Even if you do not have any mental health diagnosis, these tips can still be applied to your life too.
The first strategy, breathing, sounds simple, yet we should not take it for granted. I think we all agree that breathing is a necessary thing we have to do to live, but this strategy is more complex than you might think. Breathing helps center you on the here and now, rather than focusing on what will happen in the future, and slow, deep breathing helps lower your heart rate while also grounding you to the present. I always do this before I give a big presentation or a speech. With hallucinations, it is hard to focus on presenting because I would always hear voices telling me that I was doing a horrible job, but with deep breaths, I am able to center myself and focus on what I am doing and not what I am hearing.
Secondly, focusing on the here and now is the best option for when you are in a situation where you find yourself worrying about the future. My experience with paranoia is that I am constantly hallucinating. This has led me to be unfocused during my classes, as I must take a second to refocus myself on what is going on in the classroom rather than what is going on in my head. This is also where getting involved with the disability services people really improved my life. Sometimes, being able to refocus means having to leave my class for a few minutes, and Pellissippi State Community College’s disability services worked with me to create an accommodation plan where I can leave my class, as long as I return, without any consequences.
The last and most important strategy is having a good support system. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to rely on either my parents or my boyfriend to help me cope with my feelings and struggles. With schizophrenia, you can feel so alone even when you’re not. I tend to isolate myself when I have a bad day with hallucinations and that is the last thing that you want to do with schizophrenia. Also, when I am in a bad paranoia state, it is hard to trust anything anyone says because voices in my head are telling me that I am alone and that no one is there for me.
I always tell myself that I am not alone and that’s where having that support system is the most vital and important thing to staying healthy. Your support system can hold you accountable for your actions as well as be there for you when you need someone to lean on. You must find those people that you would trust your life with – I know sometimes that’s hard, but it is always possible.
As always, if you have any thoughts on ending your life, please contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
Much love,
Penelope
Penelope is the pseudonym for a student who attends Pellissippi State.
Disclaimer: Getting support from friends, family, or a counselor when navigating mental health issues is vital. This article is for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional counseling or crisis support. If you are experiencing a personal crisis, emotional distress, or feel you may need counseling, please reach out to the Pellissippi State Counseling Services at counseling@pstcc.edu or call 865.694.6480for support. If you are in immediate crisis, please call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 to connect with help right away. Additionally, if you are in an unsafe situation, please call the Pellissippi State Campus Police at 865.694.6649, available 24/7. As a reminder, campus police encourage students to add this number to phone contacts in the case of an emergency. You can also text “PSCCTIPS” to 67283 for an Anonymous Safety Tip.
