By Reese Bunch, Staff Writer
!Light Trigger Warning: This text contains some disturbing subject matter!
May 30th
The second time I woke up was no better than the first. Luckily, the sleeping pills didn’t give me too much trouble, even though I knew they could have some bad side effects. Before I moved, I did my best to note how I felt.
My mind begrudgingly reminded me of my missing limb, so I didn’t even bother pulling back the comforter; I knew what lay in store for me underneath. Looking around, I noticed a tray of food and a pair of crutches had been placed beside my bed and, outside my window, the sun had drifted below the tree line. Between the head wound, lost limb, and sleeping pills, it was hard to pin down exactly how long I had been out.
After allowing my new reality to settle in, the grumble from my stomach was impossible to ignore. Reaching over, I grabbed the tray left for me. While it was far from steaming hot, it must have been placed within the last half hour or so. Looking over the food, there were three things worth mentioning, with each being more of a surprise than the last.
First, there was a brief note, which simply read, “We are truly sorry for what happened. I hope an extra serving helps.” It did. Second was a bowl of fresh fruit. It was easy to come by vegetables, seeing as how we have a garden, but fruit was a delightful treat. The final, and largest surprise, was an almost inch-thick slab of meat. It looked like it was beef with a brown gravy, but to be honest, I was so hungry I would have gnawed my other leg off.
After eating, I decided it was time to try moving again, as much as I didn’t want to. I set the tray back on the nightstand and pulled my comforter off. I moved as gently as I could and managed to get myself sitting up. Using the wall to stabilize myself, I reached out and grabbed my crutches. I could tell the Dilaudid was starting to wear off, but was still active enough to dull the pain to a muted throbbing rather than the agony it was before.
I used the crutches to slowly stand up and move around the room, testing my body to see how badly I was hurt. My left leg was bruised up and rather sore, but all in all, not too bad. Other than some aches and pains, I didn’t have too much to complain about, assuming you can look over the missing limb. As much as I didn’t want to, I had to see what I looked like now. From how my mother spoke, I fully expected my head or face to be mangled. While I didn’t have any pain there, I chalked that up to the painkillers and the shock of my leg. I hobbled over to my mirror to see my new reality.
The most surprising thing wasn’t how much damage was done, but how little. Aside from my missing leg, I wasn’t in that bad of shape. No major head wound, no other broken limbs, and hardly any scrapes. How could I have suffered a concussion bad enough to make me lose the memory of an amputation, but not see any signs of it? Hell, I didn’t even have a headache. Regardless of what I thought, it was clear my wreck was worse than I could remember.
After a few minutes of trying and failing to feel complete in my skin, I decided I should finally leave my small room. I could tell my cousins had left; there wasn’t nearly enough yelling for them to still be here. Leaving my room, I noticed that it was later than I had thought – all the lights were off, and none of my family seemed to be up.
Even though I ate a full meal, with an extra helping of meat, I was still decidedly hungry. I made my way to the kitchen and opened up our fridge. It was empty, as I expected; there was nothing but a few vegetables that happened to be in season, as well as a few condiments. I opened the freezer, mostly out of habit. While there wasn’t anything inside that I wanted to eat at the moment, it did have what looked like several pounds of meat in different forms. I had no clue how we could afford so much, but I wasn’t going to complain; you can only eat vegetable soup so many times. I gave up my fruitless search and settled for some carrots I spotted in the fridge.
While making my way to our kitchen table, I noticed some light coming from my dad’s office. Since he lost his license, it had become more and more common for him to stay in his office until late at night. He always asked us not to bother him while he was inside; he said he needed time to “strategize how to feed this family.” Weirdly, I loved my father for this. He always put the family first, and I knew he would get us through this again. I decided I missed him enough that it was worth bothering him in his office. I finished up my carrots and slowly made my way to his door.
I lightly tapped on the door but heard nothing besides a hollow thud in return. After a few moments, I opened it to find an almost empty room. Well, not empty exactly, but much different than the last time I had been in here. Rather than the neat and orderly bookshelves, large desk, and paintings on the wall, I saw all his furniture shoved to one side of the room. In its place was what looked like a hospital bed, but instead of wheels, it had a large base in the middle. There was also a table off to the side with a mix of medical equipment and knives that looked more like a butcher’s.
The dots connected in my head; my father had been treating people in exchange for food, which made sense with the fruit and meat we had for dinner. I know he had kept his license loss a secret, so I doubted our neighbors knew he was unlicensed. I realized at this point I was just snooping and started to make my way back to my room. As I shut the door, my brother was leaving his room, likely to raid the fridge just like I had. We made brief eye contact, and then he whispered, “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
Startled, I asked, “Why not? I know how to keep a secret, I didn’t really see anything anyway!” He just huffed and brushed past me. Under my breath, I muttered, “I’m doing fine, thanks for asking. I didn’t lose my leg or anything.”
Annoyed, I decided to just drop it. All this moving made me tired anyway. I made my way back to my room, all but collapsing on my bed. I got myself as comfy as I could, tossing and turning until sleep finally found me.
