By Olyver LaGabed, Staff Writer
Anyone from divorced dads to teen girls and even frat bros can get down to a good Blue album. There’s no denying that Weezer is a classic staple from the 90s – their music has always reached people in this unique way that only Weezer could do. But it’s been a few years now, and many of Weezer’s famous hits are about as old as the band was when they were released. Which is exactly why fans were so excited, and wary, to learn that Weezer was releasing a brand new album in 2026.
Now, I myself am not a massive fan of Weezer. I like their popular stuff, but I don’t go looking for Weezer songs to listen to on purpose. I’m not a die-hard fan of Rivers Cuomo, and generally speaking, the band just hasn’t invested me in its sound the way it has invested many others. I wouldn’t call my stance on their band negative per se; it’s closer to a neutral feeling. That being said, I do like to hear new music, and I have no bias towards the band itself, positively or negatively. My ears are untainted, and for that reason, I do believe I am up to the task of reviewing this album in an honest way that reflects the actual quality of the work.
1: “Say Yes” – 2.5 out of 5
Started strong with a great opening and lost me around a minute into the song. “Say Yes” is a prime example of exactly the kind of music Weezer likes to make in between hits. Sure, the instrumental is great, but the chorus is repetitive and the song ultimately doesn’t feel cohesive. It’s almost as if the first portion of the song is a different piece entirely, and it ultimately just doesn’t flow in a way that is satisfying.
2: “Shine Again” – 0 out of 5
While I typically love a good divorced dad song, this one is just not it. The first nine
seconds are great, but then Rivers Cuomo starts singing. As someone who has no real emotional attachment to Weezer, I’m honestly a little put off by the more whiny nature of his vocals, and the whole loser, 20-year-old rockstar sound he’s going for just doesn’t sound amazing now that he’s older. It feels cringey and honestly, it’s just kind of underwhelming. Besides the sound alone, the lyrics aren’t anything special, and this feels like every other ‘loser-core’ song that’s already been made. I can’t help but feel less and less endeared by this sound as time goes on.
3: “Don’t Make it Weird” – 0 out of 5
“Don’t Make it Weird” was almost good! But then Cuomo started singing, and it all went downhill from there. I promise I’m trying to be nice, but there’s just not much going for this song – even the lyrics aren’t interesting. For instance, in one section of the song, Cuomo opens a verse with “Some people call me River and then they tell me I don’t got any flow”, which, while a good pun, makes me wonder if he wrote the song with the idea in mind of just stating fun facts for a few minutes. They’re telling me this is a song, but it sounds more like a limerick.
4: “We Might as Well be Strangers” – 4.5 out of 5
Now this song is much better in comparison to the rest of the album. “We Might as Well be Strangers” is a delightful mixture of musical talent, the sounds of Weezer and surprise guest artist Wednesday, a smaller, independent band complementing one another in a way that reminds me of Weezer’s popular songs “I Just Threw Out the Love of my Dreams” and “Go Away.” Wednesday is even given a solo verse, which is very satisfying to hear. The only reason this song isn’t rated a 5 out of 5 is simply because of the fact that Cuomo sings about receiving porno magazines on his birthday. I don’t know what it is, but a man pushing 60 and singing about porn magazines just isn’t very appealing. Despite that, this song isn’t half bad, and actually offers an incredibly unique sound that this album really needed.
5: “C.E.O” – 3 out of 5
And then “C.E.O” brings us right back to repetitive music. Which is ironic, because this is literally a song about writing repetitive music. The opening lyrics complain about how Weezer feels they are forced to put out specific music, stating that they’re “Cranking out another 90s jam,” and how they wish they could do something new. It makes me laugh because they say that, and yet, the entire album so far feels like a forced 90s jam. I’ve heard pop artists make more experimental albums than this. That being said, despite its repetitive nature, this is one of the better tunes on this album. The combination of bass and drums here reminds me a lot of “Undone – the Sweater Song,” which is another all-time Weezer classic. Along with the good bass and drum work, this number also came with an incredibly yummy guitar solo. Maybe Weezer should just release instrumentals. In any case, this song is definitely better than some of the other tracks, but unfortunately, better doesn’t always mean good.
6: “Hoops” – 1.5 out of 5
Uninteresting lyrics strike yet again as Cuomo excitedly tells his fans that he “bought a toaster just to make some toast.” Right. Is it bad that I’m underwhelmed? We’re over halfway through this album, and I feel like I’ve just been hearing the same song for the past 15 minutes. Ultimately, I’m getting the feeling that Weezer’s sound on this album can be described in one word: unseasoned. The only reason this song doesn’t get a zero is because the toaster lyric, in all of its blandness, did make me laugh just because of how unapologetically stupid it is. That is something I will give to this album: in all of its crumminess, it’s not sorry at all for being mediocre.
7: “Nowhere” – 0 out of 5
So far in this album, I’ve had this impression that Cuomo is trying to sound as young as he was when Weezer released their original core album, and he did succeed in sounding younger here – though, not quite in the way he might’ve wanted. This song doesn’t really give me rock star in his early twenties – it more so gives me middle schoolers flirting with each other. It’s just awkward, and the repetition of “the sky is blue” as a lyric is genuinely kind of laughable just because of how little it seems to mean. It just makes me think: yes, Rivers Cuomo, we know the sky is blue – do you know the sky is blue? Did you just figure that out? I’m concerned for you, Rivers Cuomo.
8: “The Show Must Go On” – 0 out of 5
Does the show have to go on? I feel like this album should’ve ended an entire song ago, and I’m getting more and more bored of this sound as it goes on. It’s becoming painful to sit through these songs. I will never get this time back. Anyway, enough complaining about the job I agreed to do, “The Show Must Go On” is bland, mediocre, and just like every other song on this album. Yes, the instruments are great. Yes, everyone (except for Rivers Cuomo) is extremely talented. But talent can’t make up for a lack of creativity, and this song is basically just “Troublemaker” off of Weezer’s red album without any of the sauce. This track could’ve been titled “Boiled Chicken: the Song,” and that would’ve made more sense than its actual title.
9: “Up in the Clouds” – 0 out of 5
Fun fact – when I was listening to this album, I actually had my partner on the phone with me! I was trying to be a good boyfriend, playing the music out loud so we could both hear it. When this song played, he promptly asked me if I could put my headphones in. I genuinely don’t have anything else to say about this song.
10: “The LA Sound” – 0 out of 5
“The LA Sound”, the last track on this album, is where I really feel that the core issue with this album shows – specifically with the lyric “such is the folly of youth.” Rivers Cuomo, you are 56 years old.
And ultimately, that’s the issue. See, instead of writing about anything new, Weezer is seemingly attempting to recreate their old hits by playing up the same gimmick they played up in the 90s – only, it’s not nearly as effective anymore thanks to the age of the band. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with reminiscing, but for an album meant to be the golden album amongst their other color-themed albums, this is not anything special. At best it’s boring; at worst it’s annoying in the ways it so obviously clings to the youth of Weezer’s previous work without, at the very least, saying anything new. This album earns a 1.5 out of 5 from me. If Weezer wants to continue releasing music, I think they need to remember their Golden years were in the 90s, and maybe invest in some singing lessons for ol’ Cuomo.
