- Fall Like the Leaves, Part One: The Man in Black
- Fall Like the Leaves, Part Two: Dangerous Thrills
- Fall Like the Leaves, Part Three: My Date with Danger
- Fall Like the Leaves, Part Four: The Final Act
By Rebecka Jones, Staff Writer
I have never been more distracted in my life than I am now. I’m pouring milk into a coffee cup to make a customer a latte, but I looked away for so long that I made a mess all over the counter. I apologize and start cleaning it up, but that does nothing to stop the piercing stares from my coworkers.
Today’s my first day back at the coffee shop after my break, and it’s already going terribly. I’ve been messing up orders all morning and forgetting ingredients. But, on the bright side, I have a new uniform thanks to a coworker lending me theirs, and my phone is back, thanks to another coworker who happened to find it cracked on the sidewalk outside the shop – probably from when I ran to find out why I heard a scream. It still works, somehow. Those are probably the only two positives keeping me from going insane right now.
I can’t stop thinking about yesterday. All the moments I had with Asher — watching him beat me at pumpkin shooting and the scavenger hunt, eating ice cream, hearing about his missions, him kissing my hand — won’t leave my mind, no matter how hard I try to think of something else.
To make matters worse, Asher walked into my work today and ordered a mocha. He smiled his bright smile from yesterday and actually talked to me. We talked about how our days were going and how fun the fair was. I had to use my hair to cover my flushed cheeks when he spoke with that deep voice of his. He talked to me with such ease, which I’m using as evidence to try to convince myself that yesterday meant nothing to him. I was just his assignment.
The fair shouldn’t mean anything to me either. The purpose of it was to get Asher to tell me why he kept coming into my work and smiling at me. That. Is. All.
We’re going to ignore the blushing and hand kissing.
I was hoping my mind would snap back to reality as soon as Asher left the shop, but it did not. Knowing that he’s nearby to guard me also didn’t help, even though I couldn’t see him.
After I mess up yet another order, I decide it’s time to get to the bottom of this. I’m going to drive myself to madness if I don’t figure out why Asher kept coming into my work these past couple of weeks. I tried all day yesterday to get him to open up by interacting with him more, but that failed. Screw my original plan. I’m just going to have to ask straight-up. No beating around the bush anymore.
I decide I’m going to approach him after my shift today.
I’m closing the shop tonight. It’s dark by the time I’m locking the doors and heading to my car. The only sources of light come from the streetlamps lined along the sidewalk. It’s quiet except for the leaves rustling and falling, the distant chatter of night goers, and my boots stepping on pavement. It feels peaceful.
Well, it does until I get worried. As I approach my car in the dark parking lot behind the shop, I glance around me. I don’t see anyone around, which could mean Asher is doing a good job in not making his assignment obvious, but I would’ve thought he’d approach me now that he seems more comfortable with me. I also need to talk to him. Now.
I sigh in disappointment and turn back around. I dig into my purse for my keys when I hear footsteps. My heart beats a little faster when I feel a body behind me, and I smile. “Took you long—”
A hand clasps over my mouth, cutting my words. Air rushes out of my lungs as I try to scream, but then a hand is squeezing my throat. I’m slammed down on the hood of my car, stars dotting my vision as my head makes contact with steel. Hands grab my arms and legs as I try to flail them. I’m held still, my stomach pressed against the hood.
The hand on my throat squeezes harder, making everything around me become a blur. I can’t retrieve any air through the rough hand clamped over my mouth. I try to gasp and use whatever air I have left to scream, but nothing comes out. I hear voices behind me – multiple male voices. They start snickering.
My lungs are burning, and my vision gets blurrier. My cheeks have become wet. I believe it has started to rain until I realize I’m crying. I cannot sob, so my eyes are pouring like waterfalls as my body shakes underneath the many hands pinning me down. They only press down harder, pain shooting through my entire body.
I feel myself slipping into unconsciousness, and I’m too weak to fight it. I’ve never experienced pain and horror like this before, not even when I lost my parents. I had thoughts of dying in the past, when my life was the same routine every day. I felt like there was no point in living if there was nothing else to live for. I had days where I was just done and wanted to end it all. Past me would be thankful today.
But I’m not.
For the first time in my life, I’m terrified. I don’t want to die. I’m not ready to die. For the first time, I believe I have something to live for. Asher gave me something to live for—the rushes of adrenaline, the touches that electrified my body and soul, the feelings of being alive. I’m so drawn to all of it but him most of all. I never got to say goodbye. I never got to tell him how he made me feel or ask why he smiled at me all those times. The least I can do now is think about him as I drift further and further into darkness…
The side of my face collides with stone, making me bite my tongue so hard I taste blood. Suddenly, I feel air returning to my lungs. My surroundings become clearer as I suck in a huge breath. I cough and spit out the blood that quickly filled my mouth. Feeling has returned to my hands and legs – I try pulling myself up on the side of my car, but fall back down when my muscles shake and give out, weak and exhausted.
I’m trying to process what just happened when I look up and notice three bodies on the ground beside me. I let out a scream and roll over onto my back, using the remaining energy in my body to scramble away from the blood seeping from underneath the bodies.
My vision fades in and out as I struggle to breathe again, though no hands are choking me. I’m trying to calm myself down as I notice a familiar dark figure approach and loom over me. He holds a gun, and his lips move. “Faith…”
I fall into darkness.
I wake in a pristine white hospital room. The fluorescent light overhead bears down on me, making me squint and turn my head to the side. I blink repeatedly to clear my vision, and that’s when I notice a dark figure sitting in a chair beside me, standing out among the white walls. The figure gets up as I turn to my side.
“Careful,” a deep male voice says. “You’re hurt.”
I look up at the owner of this voice and blink again, his form coming into focus. Dark eyes stare down at me, eyebrows furrowed in concern. He runs a hand through his dirty blond waves, sighing deeply.
“What happened…?” I force out, my voice hoarse.
“Don’t strain your voice,” Asher responds, then he rubs the scar underneath his lip as he ponders how to explain. “You were attacked by the criminals we’re after, most likely because they saw your face before and thought you were one of us. They were about to kill you, but I’m so grateful I got there in time.”
Suddenly, it all comes crashing back to me. I remember not being able to breathe—not being able to scream. I remember the horror I felt as death started to wrap his arms around me and take me into the darkness. I thought he had a hold on me — that I was a goner like my parents — until I woke up here.
Maybe I should be thankful, too, that Asher saved me from death’s clutches and avenged me, but heat surges to my face. Not the kind of heat that makes me weak in the legs and turns my brain to mush, but the kind that has me shooting out of the hospital bed despite my lightheadedness and glaring at Asher.
“Are you serious?” I rasp. “You ‘got there in time?’ I was literally being suffocated and was losing consciousness until you finally decided to show up and save the day. Where were you? Why weren’t you doing your job and protecting me?”
He raises his chin. “Faith, I went to go…” He trails off then, dropping his head into his hands and exhaling. “No, you’re right. I should’ve been there. I’m so sorry. I will never make that mistake again.”
Words start spilling out of me. “I can’t believe I let myself trust you. I almost died, Asher. You exposed me. You kept coming into my work and allowed these criminals to see me with you, a deadly agent. Do you have any care? Do you just endanger people on a daily basis? I was so stupid for believing you actually had a heart.”
The chair flies back into the wall when Asher kicks it. His shoulders move up and down swiftly as he breathes violently, fists clenched at his sides. “I understand I made a mistake,” he replies through gritted teeth, eyes ablaze. “I am not the only one to blame for all of this, though. You were the one who got in the middle of my fight. They would have never recognized you if you stayed away. I knew what I was doing going into that coffee shop, and I was smart with it. I didn’t put you in danger. You put yourself in danger by getting involved and taking me to a public festival where we could be seen in broad daylight.”
“You let me go!” I yell, ignoring how it burns my throat. “Maybe I was the stupid one trying to go, but you should’ve tried harder to stop me. You also should’ve just told me why you came in every day, then I wouldn’t have been so hung up trying to figure you out.”
Asher leans against the wall and clicks his tongue. “We were both stupid, yes. Why don’t we just leave it at that and agree to do better?”
I force out a harsh laugh. “Leave it and do better? My life is at risk now, thanks to you. At first, I thought it would be fun to have some action in my life, but I was wrong. I want nothing to do with this anymore — nothing to do with you.”
Before he can utter another word, I’m out of bed and storming out of the room. I ignore the doctor’s stares and urges for me to go back to rest. Instead, I run.
My breaths are raspy from when I was choked, but I force the pain away as I run and run to nowhere. I let my lungs burn and legs ache. I don’t look back to see if Asher’s following because I don’t care anymore. I was an idiot for letting myself care so much that I got involved in his life. I thought the adrenaline and freedom he gave me would be something good, but it only led to hurt. I should’ve known better. He’s dangerous.
Although I was wrong about a lot of things, there was one thing I was right about: someone as boring and depressing as me has no hope of being loved.
It’s been a couple weeks since the attack, and it’s been torture ever since. I’ve been so angry at everything that I couldn’t talk to anyone for several days without blowing up. I was angry at the men who attacked me, at Asher for being secretive and not doing his job, but, most of all, I was angry at myself for being stupid and letting myself fall.
Yes, I admit it now. I fell for Asher. He didn’t just intrigue me because of the excitement he gave me, but because of who he was. I loved every single part of him — the part that beat up bad guys and grumbled whenever I called him Mr. Coffee Shop, and the part that smiled at me and kissed my hand after we had fun at the fall festival.
Now I’m just depressed and regretful for yelling at him and letting him go. It was for the best, I know, but it didn’t stop my life from returning to its grayness. Everything was the same once again — waking up, going to work, coming home — but this time I cried every night. I cried because I lost the person who made me feel alive.
Asher never talked to me or came into my work again, but he was constantly near because I’m still his assignment. He was close by more than ever since the attack, yet he’s never felt farther.
I started to wonder if he even cared about me. I thought back to the fun we had at the fall festival — how he laughed and played all the games with me. He’d changed so much since the first time I talked to him — he actually had conversations with me and gave little gestures like kissing my hand. It felt like I had someone who cared for me. And I cared for him.
I was beginning to doubt he cared anymore when I came home from work one night and saw a bouquet of flowers lying by the front door. I picked it up and noticed a note attached. It read, This is why I was gone that day. I wanted to bring you flowers. I’m still so sorry. – A
Flowers? He was bringing me flowers? Oh, my heart. I feel the anger and sorrow suddenly melt away, replaced with a warm sensation in my chest. I want to laugh and cry and scream all at once. I tried so hard to convince myself these past couple of weeks that I was unlovable because I was crazy for craving danger. I thought I lost the person I was falling in love with.
Now I know I haven’t. He cares for me. I care for him. We’ve both made mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we’ve lost each other. We just have to set things right again. Do better, as Asher said. This time, though, I won’t be scared of loving him. I’m going to run to him like the stupid, careless girl I am because he makes me feel alive. I just hope he feels the same way…
It’s freezing the following morning as I step outside my house. I’m shielded with two layers of jackets, complemented with a pair of fleece leggings and long boots. I shove my hands into my pockets as I start my trek to the park.
I walk on the sidewalk leading out to the main street, sensing a familiar presence a few feet away. I don’t need to turn around to know who’s there. I just smile and keep moving, my heart filling to the brim that I almost let out a squeak of laughter. Calm yourself, woman!
I’m sweating underneath the layers of jackets when I make it to the park. From walking a lot or from the excitement of Asher walking behind me, I have no idea. I walk towards a bench coated with frost. The trees around me are almost completely naked aside from a couple dying leaves hanging on and the grass wears a hue of white lingering from a cold night — the first signs that winter is almost here.
I take a seat on the bench and stare ahead, hoping the moving figure in my peripheral will take the hint. Gladly, he does. He sits on the other end of the bench, hands clasped in his lap. His leg bounces slightly as he stares at the ground. Waiting. I waste no second.
“You can probably guess I received your gift,” I say. His leg bouncing pauses, and he tilts his head towards me. “Thank you.” I pause and swallow slowly. “I’m sorry for the way I acted at the hospital. I should’ve been more understanding about your job and not put you in a tough spot.”
He’s silent for a long, torturous moment. I don’t think I’ve ever stunned him to silence. Finally, he releases a breath. “I’ve already forgiven you. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, either. I was wrong for keeping things from you. I thought I was doing it to keep you safe, but it was for other reasons.”
I stare at him, urging him to continue. He does. “You mean a lot to me, Faith. From the first day I walked into that coffee shop, you intrigued me. You had a spark in your eye that needed to be ignited, and I wanted someone with a spark in my life. I wanted to know you more, but I struggle with confrontation. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be around someone like me, but when I saw how brave you were getting in that fight and following me into the lair, I was convinced you liked me, too. You weren’t afraid of me. Then, after the festival, I started to…” He trails off, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Fall in love with you.”
My heart is overflowing now. All my worries about him not feeling the same vanish. Now I know all those moments together—from the smiles at the coffee shop to the hand kissing after the festival—were real. I was never just his assignment. The thought makes a smile break out on my face, and I can’t help myself when I throw my arms around Asher and hug him. He stiffens for just a second, as if he’s not used to physical touch, but then he melts into my embrace and wraps those large, muscular arms around me.
“I’m in love with you, too, Asher,” I mumble into his broad shoulder. I pull away and look into his dark, smiling eyes. “I’ve never met someone who gave me a spark, either. You make me feel alive and happy. I didn’t think it was possible ever since…” I pause before deciding to admit it to him. “The death of my parents. You make everything brighter in my life. I don’t want anyone else.”
His face softens, and his lips turn upward into a smile. His two dimples peek out. “Then let’s not be with anyone else. We can give this a try, if you’re okay with that?”
“I am so very okay with that,” I smile back. “I’ve never tried this before, so you’ll have to bear with me.”
“We’ve got all the time in the world,” he replies, his eyes never leaving mine. Except when he glances at something over my shoulder, and all color drains from his face. His smile — and, tragically, the dimples — disappear. “Faith,” he breathes. I raise a brow.
“What’s wr—” I hear a gunshot. Pain explodes in my chest. Everything is so bright that I can’t see anything, except for the horror on Asher’s now-bloodied face. I fall to the ground and stare up into the sky, watching Asher enter my vision, pointing a gun somewhere in the distance and shooting without a second to waste. Then he’s kneeling over me, his arms underneath me. Blood drips down his sharp jaw.
“No, no, no!” He yells, voice cracking. “Faith, stay with me!” Then he’s yelling into a walkie, calling for backup. His voice starts to fade as the sky breaks open to a blinding light. My lungs give out and I start to cough, noticing blood spewing out of my chest.
Dying…
Asher rips the side of his shirt and wraps it around my chest, his motions frantic. I’ve never seen him panic — never seen him afraid. “They’re almost here. Hang on, please!” I barely catch his words as a ringing in my ears engulfs them.
No more time…
“Asher…” I cough out, forcing air into my lungs for just a second longer. My life is flashing before my eyes, yet I don’t feel as terrified as I thought I’d be. It almost feels…peaceful. My whole body has grown numb, like it’s going to sleep. I feel no pain. I can only see the pain in the eyes of the man kneeling before me.
A couple weeks ago, I was horrified after the attack, but that was because Asher wasn’t there with me. He’s here with me now as I slowly go into the light. It’s no longer dark. I’m in the arms of the man I was interested in the second he came into my life. Now he’s the man I’m in love with, and I’m the woman he’s in love with. I don’t want to die, but I’m ready – it’s my time now. And I’m with him. I know he won’t be able to come with me — he’ll have to go on by himself. There’s so much I want to leave him with, but I don’t have the time. I have to say what I can and say it now.
“I wish I could’ve had a relationship with you that didn’t last five seconds…” That was a shot at humor, which probably isn’t appropriate for the situation, but it’s the most I can do to help him a bit. It’s not effective.
“Don’t you say that,” Asher breaks, tears blooming in those dark eyes. “We’re going to get you help.”
“Listen to me, Asher.” I force out, taking another breath to refill my lungs. “I finally got to have a life because of you. I’ve never been happier. We did what we could with the time we had left. I’m thankful I got to spend time with you and tell you that I love you. I wish it didn’t have to end so quickly, but we can’t stop death.” I use my remaining strength to touch his cheek and wipe his tears. He leans into my touch, closing his eyes. “Promise me you’ll keep going. Stop these people before they do more damage. Protect this town.”
He holds my hand in his, rough and gentle all at once. He presses a kiss to my palm. “No, you’re going to be here with me.”
“Promise me.”
“Faith—”
“Promise me.”
“I promise,” he says in between sobs, dropping his head in acceptance. “I’m never going to stop loving you…missing you.”
“And don’t let anybody stop you from doing those things,” I nod. “I’ll love you forever, Asher. You’re it for me. There’s no one else. Thank you for giving me the best couple of weeks of my life.”
“Faith…” He murmurs. “I love you.”
“And I love you.”
He presses a kiss to my forehead. I look into his eyes again once he pulls away. I watch as the light makes his dirty blond waves, dark eyes, and that beautiful and perfect smile with dimples, glow. Eventually, it glows so bright he disappears from my sight. Everything vanishes into the light as I drift farther and farther away until eventually…
I fall.
