By Addison Chrivia, Editor
A student has been reported missing on campus as of this past Monday. Currently, there have been a few updates on her location. Gabriella Goss is a longtime student here at Pellissippi State Community College, widely recognized for her talent in the orchestra, playing the French horn. If you have frequented the campus, you have likely heard her music.
Witnesses report that she was last seen walking around the pond, wearing a dark turtleneck and a feathered jacket. One student said that she “left her crap at the pond,” indicating that there might be fowl play, and her disappearance was not voluntary.
As of now, there is no information on why she might have gone missing; close relatives suspect she was taken by a local gang known as The Coyotes. Currently, there is no evidence to support this theory beyond bystanders in the area reporting sighting figures in the woods. The Coyotes are known to have a rivalry with the Goss family, previously responsible for the deaths of relatives and close friends.
This feud is well known, spanning many generations. The stories surrounding The Coyotes are enough to leave you with goosebumps. The bloodthirsty members of the gang are fond of prowling around East Tennessee in wooded areas. They are recognized by the fanged brass knuckles they wear and use, as well as their leather jackets lined with fur.
Gabriella was an outspoken student, well known around campus for her fowl-mouthed humor and her flock of friends, which followed her as she flew around the campus from spot to spot. She did well in school, and in addition to her commitment to the orchestra, she was also an active athlete for a local rowing team. Her fellow athlete described her skill,
“She floats on the water; it’s like it’s her natural habitat. She just flies over the water when she’s out there. She’s a great team player, without her the team just isn’t the same.”
Some students speculate that she wasn’t taken, but rather departed of her own volition, migrating north to greener pastures. She was often known to ‘fly the coop’ according to some, and didn’t often stay in the same place. Her friend said,
“She was always big on travel. When the seasons change, she’s moving elsewhere. She just hates the cold weather.”
Close friends of Gabriella have organized a recurring protest and are often seen blocking the roads leaving the Hardin Valley Campus to raise awareness of her absence. They are brave and unmoving, not frightened by the cars that threaten to run them over. Campus police have refused to intervene in the protest demonstrations. They are currently accepting donations in the form of slices of bread, as that was her favorite snack to eat by the pond.
When asked for a comment, one of her friends had this to say: “Honk, honk…. Honk!”
Even just a gander at the efforts that people are going to make everyone aware of her disappearance shows how impactful she has been to the community here at Pellissippi State.
She was just a hatchling, while active in college, still young and figuring things out. Her family is growing more concerned about her disappearance as time goes on. Her mother says,
“When she would always follow me everywhere, my little gosling. It’s unlike her to be this far from home without saying anything.”
Where has Gabriella Goss gone? Efforts from campus police are ongoing; it is still unknown where she is and whether fowl play was involved in her disappearance. We hope the community can come together in this search, and any information found can be written on a piece of paper and thrown in the pond.
There is no student at Pellissippi State named Gabriella Goss who has gone missing. There is no gang called The Coyotes, who took her.
This was about a goose.
Happy April Fools!
